Every time I look at you, it hurts.
Every time I look at you, it kicks my guts to know how much you are suffering.
Every time I look at you, it grieves me to see how much you’re pretending to put up a facade, a facade that is being torn apart with time.
I see you almost everyday and as such, I am a witness to how, day by day, little by little, you are losing your hope. The once gleam you’ve had in your eyes is slowly fading away. The radiance only your smile could bring about is something I now can hardly see. The cheerful face I’ve so often admired in the past is already just a memory.
Every morning I see you smile your way towards me as you entangle me with your usual warm embrace. You greet me with loads of funny stories of how you spent the night bumming over all your responsibilities, of crazy stories of how you ridiculously get crushes on your classmates on your GE or PE classes, of scenarios of absolutely just anything happening in your daily life.
But I guess it’s true, what I’ve heard from the adults before: that our eyes never lie. For behind your happy smile, I always catch a pair of sad eyes, a pair full of woe and longing.
And so this is my covenant from this day onward.
I will always do everything for you.
I will always be here to buy you your favorite fish ice-cream, to go with you as we both splurge on buffets and chicken wings, to listen to your rants about how your neighbor sings karaoke all night, to hear your updates on how you’re succeeding on trying to fix your life and then failing again.
And to never stop praying for you tops that never-ending list of everything. To never cease asking God to renew your hope every morning and to give you the strength to face the monsters that haunt your days.
I will be here to provide you the comfort that Jesus has given me.
I will never tire of reminding you that you are always loved, that you are always worth it, that you are always precious. I know that God will give you the sustenance that you need through your rock bottom season. It may take you days, weeks, months, years, but I know your breakthrough will come.
Every time I look at you, it still hurts.
But my heart finds joy in knowing that God will soon work miracles in your life.
I believe in You.
I believe in you.